An Eye-Douching

“What are you staring at? Oh, let me guess. You probably expect me to wear a Sega Game Gear around my neck, because it has ‘color.’ Get away from me, you racist.”

Via Syph by way of LATFH

This shit right here? IS KNOCKIN’!!!!

Joe Budden – State Of You

Get the album right over here.

Joe Budden has really come around for me. I’ve been a huge fan since forever, Padded Room was great, and this album is nuts so far. Can’t wait for The Great Escape. I know a lot of people can’t stand the man, but FACK ‘EM.

And the sample is after the jump. Courtesy of the Boxden forums. Haven’t been there in fackin’ ages.
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Your wife might hire someone to try and kill you.

Via AOL

This video is so f’n epically classic. It’s a Christian girl trying to convert her friend, who is Indian, into a Christian. As I’m writing this, I’ve only seen the first minute of this 10 minute marathon[UPDATE - I'm watching the rest of this shat, it's so ridiculous, my lord everyone needs to watch this. I feel sorry for the Indian girl, IDK why she's friends with these people]. I’ll try and watch as much of it as I can but the first minute has so many quotables, I got post-happy. *I watched the whole thing.

“I had 2 friends over, one regular one and one indian one.”
“I guess like indians are Hindus.”*
“She’s Indian, It’s like an African country in Asia.”

Seriously, this is epic ignorance at it’s finest, DEAR GOD THIS IS HILARIOUS AND SAD AT THE SAME TIME. Sorry for the caps but lord this is a gold mine. The greatest youtube vid of all time after the jump.

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I read the book, and it was funny. But this trailer makes the movie look so incredibly bad. I’m was about 80% sure I wasn’t going to see the movie, now I’m positive I won’t. Trailer after the jump.

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Weekly Review

Congress defied President Barack Obama and adjourned for
the summer without passing a health-care-reform bill. The
House Energy and Commerce Committee approved its own
version of the bill 31-28 (with five Democrats and all 23
Republicans voting against it); its bill is one of five
already produced or soon to be produced by the House and
Senate. President Obama and congressional Democrats
planned to tour the country to talk about the issue, while
Republicans planned to identify the health-care plan as a
failure akin to the $787 billion stimulus package, which
after six months has yet to reverse unemployment.
Health-insurance companies, described by House Speaker
Nancy Pelosi as “immoral” and “the villains in
this,” were spending $1 million a day to lobby
lawmakers. A poll found that 60 percent of Americans
disapprove of Congress. Thirty-nine million Americans were
on food stamps. The remains of Captain Michael “Scott”
Speicher, whose plane crashed in Iraq in 1991 and whose
status had been changed from “killed in action” back to
“missing in action” and then, under pressure from
Congress, to “missing-captured,” were found in the Anbar
province of Iraq, where he was buried by the
Bedouin. Computer records showed that Venezuela was
offering assistance to Colombian FARC rebels, and Hugo
Chavez revoked the licenses of 34 radio stations. Corazon
Aquino died.

Twenty-eight people died in mosque bombings in Iraq, and
Iranian authorities announced that 20 people would be
tried for protesting election results. Two people died in
Tel Aviv when a gunman opened fire at a gay club, and 50
Palestinians were evicted from their East Jerusalem homes,
some at gunpoint; Jewish families moved in soon
after. “Now our future,” said one evictee, “is in the
streets.” Former House Majority Leader Dick Armey appeared
at a hearing on Capitol Hill to speak out against the
“eco-evangelical hysteria” about climate change. “If the
Lord God Almighty made the heavens and the earth,” said
Armey, “and he made them to his satisfaction and it is
quite pretentious of we little weaklings here on earth to
think that, that we are going to destroy God’s creation.”
Sea levels continued to rise. Scientists in Georgia found
that eating too much fructose makes a rat forgetful, and
scientists in St. Louis were driving fruit flies
crazy. The Obama Administration was shopping for a new
prison to hold the Guantanamo Bay inmates, either in
Kansas or in Michigan, and the Army’s base in Fort Irwin,
California, was invaded by wild burros. A Hartford man
smashed his SUV into parked cars after baby snakes escaped
from his pockets. A researcher found evidence that haggis
is British, not Scottish, and British Children’s Secretary
Ed Balls put forth a plan to monitor 20,000 “problem
families” with 24-hour video surveillance, or “sin bins,”
at a cost of $677 million. Michael Jackson’s nose was
missing.

A court in India issued a warrant for the arrest of Warren
Anderson, head of Union Carbide in 1984 when a leak at the
company’s plant in Bhopal killed 10,000 people and injured
555,000. “This is 25 years of unfair treatment,” said
Anderson’s wife, Lillian, from their home in the
Hamptons. Researchers found that organic food is no
healthier than regular food, and that the swine-flu
medication Tamiflu gives children nightmares. Swedish
sperm banks were facing shortages due to high lesbian
demand, and Germans were hoarding incandescent bulbs
before they are banned. An Alabama woman was arrested with
$13,000 of methamphetamines in her bra; an unemployed New
York woman was suing her college for $70,000 for not
trying hard enough to help her find a job; and a
Pennsylvania woman had plans to marry the rollercoaster
she loves. New York City was giving out one-way plane
tickets to the homeless, and a 90-year-old discotheque
impresario and Auschwitz survivor named Felix Brinkman was
found strangled in Manhattan. Medical official Shi Bing
Bing said that China’s astronauts can be disqualified for
100 different reasons, including runny noses, ringworm,
and bad breath. Japanese astronaut Koichi Wakata revealed
that for a month in space he wore the same underwear,
which was flame-resistant, controlled odors, killed
bacteria, and absorbed water. Wakata said that he also ate
a number of curries. “My station crew members never
complained,” he said, “so I think the experiment went
fine.” A federal appeals court in Texas ruled to permit
the sacrifice of goats.

– Paul Ford

Via Holy Taco

C’est la Vie, Drake from jeff on Vimeo.

I was literally laughing my ass off watching this. Probably the best video they’ve done in a while.

When I was a kid, I used to go to my Grandmothers house a lot. My aunt lived there as well for a bit and she was in cosmetology school. She had mannequin heads all over the fucking house they creeped me the fuck out. I remember I was blindly looking under a bed hoping to find some random hidden treasure. I found something, it was a mannequin head with make-up on it. Scared the living shit out of me. I hate mannequins because of that moment. This stupid fucking video reminded me of that moment. FUCK YOU REJUVINIQUE! And FUCK YOU JOE COCKER!

I know everyone has probably seen this already, but I’ve been away from the site for some time, so it’s for archival purposes. NAH MEAN!